Description-draft 1
Mike Chu is my friend's younger bother. We met each other in a movie theater when I was eighteen years old.
Mike was born in Taichung city. He has parents and an older sister and now he lives with his parents. This year, he graduated form Ling-Dong high school and entered Hsiuping Institute of Technology. For his family, he chose to go to night school and works at daytime. From this summer vacation, he has started to be a waiter in a restaurant. He now feels money is important in his life. With his enthusiasm, he dreams one day he can be a computer engineer. He likes to play computer, basketball and listen to music in his spare time.
Mike is a honest and frank person. He likes to be himself and doesn't afraid what other people say. He is also a shy person espacially for stranger. When he faces to stranger, he will become a quit man and seldom say words. But for friends, he is a tender man and always concerned them. When his friends have difficults, he will listen to their problems and try to help them. If he can't do anything, he still accompanies his friends silently. He has a childlike smile when he faces people. When I saw his smile, it always can let me forget some stress. I am glad we almost have a lot in common. We can play basketball together, or I can ask him some computer questions. For his dream, I am truly believe in his understanding of information technology will led him to succeed in computer engineer.
Mike is really a special person. His happiness have often affect on people. I always got relaxation from him. I really enjoy the time with him.

4 Comments:
good organization and the third paragraph have some mistake there is "quite man" in stead of "quit man" that's it.
I think your draft is OK. If you can use the transitional words, the essay can be better.
Be care of some syntactical functions such as "afraid" is not a verb but a adjective. Also, take notice of the tense. By the way, you did a good job!!
In my opinion,chose and works should be paralleled. May be you can changed to chooses or worked.I think it's ok so on. I just want to say "congratulations"~ that you has a really good friend like him.~
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